Approaching Winter

I am Thor the Barbarian and I am in the autumn of my years. And though this is indeed a wonderful time for me, in my quiet moments I can sometimes feel the inexorable and inevitable approach of Winter.

Having accepted that I am no longer young, I have also accepted the fact that I am aging. And that one day I will gaze at my reflection in the mirror and realize that I have gotten old.

I am not daunted by this, nor does it sadden me. For everything there is a season. And in the end, waking life is not so very much different than wispy dream.

The Barbarian archetype has inspired and guided me throughout most of my terrestrial sojourn. This powerful eidolon is my genius, the numen that has molded and informed my existence. Whenever I strayed far from the clear path of my unorthodox bliss, I got lost in darkness and was enmeshed in stifling life-circumstances that proved unsuited to my growth. And then I had to fight my way back to where I always knew I truly belonged.

My 20s and 30s saw many such self-betrayals. In my 40s I finally learned to enjoy who I am... and who I've always been.

Having entered my 50s less than a handful of years ago, and with half a lifetime or so still before me, I often look to the tales that shaped me for themes and images that will give meaning to the road ahead.

According to L. Sprague De Camp and Lin Carter in Conan of the Isles, Conan the King still ruled proud Aquilonia well into his sixties. Having outlived Zenobia and most of his trusted friends, he has become somewhat reflective and seeks solace in the pursuit of archaic lore. He has grown bored and restless... his throne has indeed become a prison of sorts.

One day disaster strikes, breaking all routines. Sinister red shadows strike down his subjects and Conan realizes that he is powerless against them. The terror continues and Conan despairs, until he has a dream of Epimetrius the Sage. The ancient Aquilonian inspires the barbarian king to embark on a quest across the Western Ocean, whence the Red Death originates.

Conan surrenders the throne to Conn, his eldest son, and embraces the road once again as a wanderer - without title or station. Returning to his roots, Conan is revitalized. Capitalizing on his former infamy, he recruits a ship full of rogues to seek Atlantis, the primal homeland of his Cimmerian ancestors.

Following the trail to the legendary isles of Antillia, Conan and his crew triumph over many perils -both sorcerous and mundane. Conan discovers that though he is not as strong or energetic as he once was, there are still horizons towards which he can strive. The rest of his life now stretches before him. At adventure's end, having saved the Thurian continent and toppled the Antillian theocracy, Conan sails Westward... to the Americas. There he will create a whole new cycle of legend as Kukulkan.

The details of these adventures remain obscure, though echoes survive in the myths and legends of Meso-America and the pages of Marvel's Conan the Barbarian #250 and Conan the Savage #10.

Conan has guided me to my 70s. Moving beyond that, through my 80s and into my 90s, I must rely on another savage Sword & Sorcery hero.

Cohen the Barbarian is a denizen of Terry Pratchett's Discworld. I suspect that he started life as a parody of Conan, but Genghis Cohen seems to have asserted his own unique personality rather quickly - and established a powerful presence. Though he's seen better days, and smells a bit like goat and asparagus, Cohen remains charismatic and dynamic: a force of nature.

We first meet him in The Light Fantastic -ancient, toothless, lean and mean. Nonetheless, he has had a long lifetime of experience as a barbarian hero and is therefore extremely tough to kill. He demonstrates his mettle when A'Tuin the World-Turtle is lunging toward the Red Star and The End of Discworld draws near. Though in his 80s, Cohen saves the day and, naturally, gets the girl. He also manages to acquire some diamond dentures. David Bradley portrayed Cohen and his role in these events quite brilliantly in the 2008 TV Movie The Color of Magic.

In Troll Bridge, Cohen must face his mortality and the fact that Discworld has become civilized and safe - a rather tame place - thanks largely to his might and main. A true culture hero, he has created a reality in which he no longer belongs. Not content to fade from view, he presses onwards.

We meet up with him later in Interesting Times, where he leads the Silver Horde: a mere handful of decrepid, smelly barbarians... living fossils... relics - all of them extremely tough to kill. Together they face insurmountable odds and triumph. Well into his 80s, Cohen becomes Emperor of the vast Agatean Empire.

But being Emperor isn't enough. Surviving a lifetime of strife, one of the Silver Horde chokes on a chicken bone and dies a straw death. The Silver Horde bristles at the the injustice of it all. Then Cohen and his crew decide to take on the gods themselves (a tale chronicled in The Last Hero) .

They perish in the attempt, but death isn't the end. Cohen and the Silver Horde refuse to enter Valhalla. Ambushing the Valkyries sent to collect them, they steal their pegasii and ride off to new adventures in the starry firmaments.

Having re-read and contemplated these tales, I proceed: confident, centered and strong.

Before me: as always - new adventures. Behind me: a life well lived (though often turbulent and extreme). An aging barbarian, I find myself in good company. I embrace the road ahead.

I am Thor the Barbarian and I have spoken.

Larger than Life Living in the World Today